Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
