im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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