This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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