I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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