the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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