Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this just has baby written all over it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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