i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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