I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My pussy is not your playground.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
