Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
