I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
