Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
