Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize