hotel room ftw
Do you still have your period?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
