her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
