I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know her cup size but not her name....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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