his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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