At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
