I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
