it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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