He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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