I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
