Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
