how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching