Cold hands, warm shart.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!