Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
