Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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