.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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