i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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