You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize