i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
