I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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