If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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