I want to have your abortion
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
