He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
