I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
