someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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