I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize