I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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