We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
