FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It was confusing and full of hummus
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
