Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
