you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
