His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
