Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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