hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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