I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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