and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
