Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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