she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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