I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
