All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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