That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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