I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
