I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
